"Win from Within"

I have been staring at my blank computer screen for a while now, trying to figure out how I could possibly write about depression in less than 500 words. Depression has held such a strong grip over my life for the past 15 or so years and to just put it all on paper could probably fill an entire book. I could write about my dad losing his job when I was ten and then him spending the next 8 years of my life clinically depressed and drunk on the couch, jobless. I could talk about my mom’s battle with depression as she watched her husband wither into an unrecognizable man unfit to raise two children, all while she worked two jobs to keep my family from sinking. I could talk about my own run in with depression, the doctors I visited, the medicine I was prescribed, and the terrible thoughts that went through my mind during high school. I could sit and write all day about how depression destroyed my family, but then again I bet everyone could write about that. There probably isn’t a single family in America who hasn’t been damaged by depression.

Instead I want to talk about the one value in my life that I needed to overcome depression, Fortitude. The word is not commonly used anymore, and I feel that its meaning and value is mistaken for something less than it is. Fortitude is “mental and emotional strength in facing adversity, danger, or temptation courageously” or “strength of mind that enables one to meet danger or bear pain or adversity with courage” It is “mental… strength” and “strength of mind.” Fortitude is not physical strength. Rather, those with fortitude can mentally withstand obstacles and challenges in their paths. Fortitude is what I needed to wake up every day with a smile and get excited about life, even in what felt like hopeless situations. Fortitude is what drove me to leave Las Vegas and my family to head to Texas Christian University. Fortitude is what drove an introverted kid like myself to the first Crew meeting at TCU, an organization I would go on to lead and ultimately jump started a very successful college career.

Depression is in no way easy to overcome, and I still slip back into it. I didn’t just have a fairy tale ending. The point is that you have to have the courage to get out of bed the next day and face the world. You can’t sugar coat what you are facing, accept that it’s a disease and own it. I truly believe fortitude is value everyone needs to take to heart and strive to achieve. I live by the quotes “Keep Moving Forward, and Win From Within” I think that if you can do that every day then you can make little steps and generate enough small wins to put a smile back on your face.