Through my recovery process I have learned that progress is only made when the person going through recovery WANTS CHANGE. I have tried so many times before to get my weight back up and I would lose weight again. Looking back on those times, I said I wanted to get better but I would not let myself. I was feeling the pressure from people around me to get outside help to get better. I would do it but only to try to relieve the pressure I was feeling around me. I was never doing it FOR ME. After seeing that photo of myself, I wanted to improve my health FOR ME. I was tired of being unhappy with myself and I was finally ready to seriously change my life. A mentor once told me “you have to want it more than breathing”, and that’s how badly I wanted to change.
I will be the first to say that change is not easy. You have to change in all aspects of your life—mentally and physically. There are a lot of days when you feel really crappy about yourself. But there are also days when you feel really awesome about yourself too. Those days when you feel great about yourself happen more often. To get you through the ups and downs of recovery, it’s important you have a good support system behind you. Family, friends, and third party sources such as doctors or therapists become your own personal cheerleaders that help you through your recovery.
Visualizing myself as a healthier person has kept me going through my recovery. Even through the bad days I kept telling myself “this too shall pass”. I share my experience with you because I once heard Robin Roberts say, “Make your mess your message.” My message to people suffering from eating disorders is that while change is scary, it will be the best decision you will have ever made. Sometimes change is necessary in order to achieve happiness in your life and most importantly within yourself.
