But why can't you just be happy?

“But why can’t you just be happy?” This is the question that is more frustrating than any other that gets asked of those who are battling depression. Surely it isn’t THAT hard to be happy is it? For anyone who has ever dealt with depression and mental health problems, being happy is an uphill journey that is fraught with desolation, pain, tears, and overwhelming feelings. It is a journey that requires courage and perseverance, but also a large amount of patience and understanding for your self and others around you.

I remember the day that I finally admitted to myself that I needed help; that what I was going through was not something I could handle alone. Allowing myself to admit that was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and it was my first step of many in my fight to be happy again. The first time I went to the mental health center, I cried the whole way there, the entire first session I had with the counselor, and the whole walk back to my dorm. I felt embarrassed, unsure of myself, and slightly derisive of the experience I had just had. I don’t need therapy. I’m sure I can just get over this eventually. Only crazy people have therapists, and I’m not crazy. These were some of the thoughts that bounced around in my head as I recalled my therapy session. Surely people will think I belong in the mental ward if I tell them I go to therapy, won’t they? However, I decided to give this whole process a chance and began to see a psychiatrist once a week.

All of the sudden, I began to think about mental health in a different way. What is so bad about going to therapy? I get to talk about everything that has been bothering me in my life for an hour to a compassionate counselor FOR FREE. I leave every session feeling refreshed and lightened, knowing that someone else has helped me unburden my problems. I began to reach out to my friends and family for support and found an army of people cheering me on while I fought my way towards my goal of happiness. It was then that more of my friends opened up to me about going to speak to therapists. I found a surprisingly large number of my college and high school friends had sought out help from their university counseling center. I am not alone in this. Others go through this too!

All of these revelations made me realize that having depression, or anxiety, or any other mental illness is not something you should hide away in your life. You would never expect someone who had diabetes or the flu to be ashamed of the way their body is acting, so why should you? Talking about mental health normalizes it; it makes it easier for people to comprehend what it means when you say, “I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.” I have people of all ages ask me about my journey from my dark beginning to my shining future. All of the questions they asked stemmed from a sense of curiosity and a need to understand and empathize. Never have I been treated with contempt, disgust, or disappointment from anyone who I have told about my struggles with depression.

So it’s okay to have depression and it’s okay to have to take medication for it. It’s okay to smile and look at your progress, and it’s okay to have bad days too. You are a young, wonderful person who has a world of opportunities at your feet. I want you to know that you don’t have to face this alone, and you’re not the only one who has ever gone through this. Help is always there for those who seek it out. I know this journey can be tough, and you’ll face a lot of obstacles that seem insurmountable, but I truly believe that one day we can be happy again.