Admitting is the First Step

I used to be a happy guy. I was full of energy and enthusiasm. I loved to crack jokes and meet new people and be on the center stage. Depression changed me. I am just not the same person I used to be two years ago. I am not depressed anymore. However, I now realize the warning signs for depression not just for myself but also for other people. I understand the hopelessness and despair when you are depressed. I also understand the struggles people have in their attempt to reach out. If there is anyone out there that feels like nobody understands your situation and cannot help you, you might be surprised by the number of people that understand EXACTLY what you are going through.

For me, depression came with stress. Stress from school, work, friends, financial situations, health, and etc. Next thing I know, I was speaking less and became hostile towards people. If I was lively before, I started to refrain from interactions with people in general, even my best friends. When people reached out to see what was going on, I just gave them an excuse like “I’m just tired.” As the weeks went on, I became more and more reclusive. I started to realize that I wasn’t just stressed out because of my surroundings. I was FREAKING depressed.

I’m actually fortunate that one of my friends actually intervened and put back some sense into my head. He was the one that told me that I was depressed and that it is in my interest to share what was causing it. I told him the truth, and that alone helped me a lot. Instead of beating myself in my mind constantly, sharing it helped me realize that I am not alone in this fight. I realized that my friend also went through a similar phase and shared how he overcame depression. He told me about the resources available just within TCU and there are many more available in the community. He encouraged me to share my situation with my family and friends knowing that they will help me get through my situation. And I did. It didn’t solve the problem immediately. But with time and effort, I was able to get out of my depression.

I honestly didn’t want to admit it. I always thought I had a stress-free mentality. I thought depression was only for those who were weak mentally (I don’t even know what this means anymore). I was always able to see the positives in situations. During my depression, I simply could not. I held back from letting my friends know about my depression for a very long time because 1) I didn’t want to admit that I was depressed 2) I didn’t think that anybody would understand my situation and 3) I didn’t want to burden my friends with my depression. Looking back, I was pretty dumb.

People cannot understand you if you choose not to share. You may feel like you can’t share your story because nobody will understand. But I challenge you to take the first step and just share. One person may not be enough to overcome your situation. And that is why you need to utilize all of the resources that are available to you, and there might be more than you think. TCU has great resources, this blog and others that are similar are great resources, and even your friends that you think are inexperienced might be able to help you in a more profound way than you realize (my friend mentioned is two years younger than I am). There are many people in your life that are willing to help you. You just need to realize that. It took me a while, but I hope you don’t make the same mistake.